Match reports

Yellow (7): Colin, Ahmet, Ed, JP, Damon, Steve, Richard N
Red (7): Jeremy, Kevin, Daniel, Darren, Gerald, James Paul

Hot, muggy, firm and mown grass.
Welcome back Damon. He joined us slightly late (through no fault of his own) which upset Yellow who became quite vocal about the one man disadvantage, even though it was clearly explained that he would shortly join them. Red ignored the disproportinoate protestations and scored, Daniel shooting off target but Darren on hand to alter the course of the ball into the net. And then Damon joined us. Just as Paul scuffed a shot, jarred his knee and had to exercise caution and take himself off after only 5 minutes. The one man disadvantage was now the other way round. Yellow were ungracious in the change of fortunes by suddenly staying very quiet about the numerical difference. Red didn’t moan at all. It was a tough game, both teams passing and moving well, defences doing their job but a few good shots going off. Colin then passed down the middle for Damon to get the slighest of touches to dink the ball past Daniel, a goal on his return. They got another soon after and then just before half time added a third.
The second half was just as good quality wise with both defences really limiting the chances. James ran and ran and ran, pinging off passes to whoever was supporting the attacks. Darren dived to tip a shot around the post. JP significantly increased his dragback per game average and the only shot he managed went out for a throw whilst Steve lost his voice shouting for the ball. Gerald took out Damon with challenge but the free kick came to nothing. Amongst all this, Daniel laid off to Darren who fired in first time. This upped the already hard tempo for the last 20 minutes as Yellow didn’t want to loose the advantage and Red wanted to win. But although both teams fought hard to the end there was no more spoils to be had.

Final score: Yellow 3 – 2 Red

Stat man Dan says:
1: Half way through the season. Of the 25 games so far (+ one cancelled), 12 have ended with only a one goal difference. The total for the previous three years is 24. Good team selections!
2: Damon’s last game was on July 12th, 2009. Exactly two years to the weekend.
3: I’m not going to publish half way stats as I don’t want to influence your performances. There are some shocking (good and bad) stats in there though. Attendence is at an all time high (average 12 per game) so I think I speak on behalf of all of you – thank you for the love.

It didn’t look good. 10.50am and Colin, Darren, Tufan and Daniel got the goals and began to set up for a mere 2 a-side.
Then Paul, James, Ahmet, Richard N and Gerald all appeared! BELIEVE. We now just had to wait for JP who’d said yes last week, had since confirmed by e-mail and also had the bibs.
JP? JP? Cooo-eee?

Yellow (5): Gerald, Ahmet, Colin, Darren, Tufan
Red (4): Paul, James, Richard N, Daniel

Hot and firm. Yellow couldn’t score from their own half. Welcome back Gerald from self-imposed injury exile – he still hasn’t seen a Doctor since his last game on April 10th – go you fool!
Red got off to a good start, a testing shot from Paul was saved by Gerald, low down near his post. But he somehow managed to let the small amount of spin bamboozle him and it somehow rolled in. Red then got to 3-2 after 5 minutes. But Yellow replied by forming lots of triangles with the extra man (Tufan, Darren and Colin combing well with Ahmet distributing from the back) and rolled in quite a few to pull away to 9-5 by half time. And what a long half time that was.
Red got the bit between their teeth all of a sudden and clawed back several goals to bring it to 9-8. But they took their foot off the gas and Yellow began to pull away and their opponents had no answer, the stunning fightbacks of the previous two weeks was not to be repeated. Some great saves in there from Richard N and Ahmet, a couple of argy-bargy free kicks, a kung-fu goal from Colin, a tasty deflection in by James, a nifty turn by Daniel, some rockets from Paul, some in and some rather wayward.

Final score: Yelllow 16 – 10 Red

Yellow (5): JP, Richard N, Jeremy, Kevin, Daniel

Red (6): Darren, Colin, Richard P, Steve, Jim N, Matt

Hot. Really hot. Firm.

Welcome back Matt. A one man advantage to Red who were stronger from the off and were two goals to the good without reply. They looked good too, Colin in a red cap, Jim in his fishermans hat and Richard P in his Rayban Wayfarers. The second (I think) came from a save with the ball ending up in front of an empty goal and both Colin and Darren took a swipe – 1/2 a goal each. I don’t recall much else – hot, fast. Daniel had the ball literally knicked off him by Darren just as he was swinging to shoot. Yellow did manage to get off some shots but struggling to find space. Then just before half time JP fired in to save their bacon and give Yellow belief.

Second half kick off was rather too prompt in this heat and a rather innocuous pass was inadvertently knocked back by Matt into the path of the onrushing Kevin who made no mistake – game on! However the reply was immediate with Colin (a regular threat running in behind defenders)  connecting with a cross to nod in a tasty header, the lead restored. And then they got another. Yellow replied to give belief but again the Red response was immediate, always keeping a step ahead, teasing the Yellow team. JP then crossed for Daniel who took an unnecessary  touch and seemed to have missed the chance but calmly rolled it across the line. Game back on. Richard N ended up with ball at the near post with the goal mouth gaping but Jim N did just enough to put him off and the shot scuffed the outside of the post – calamatous. Not to be outdone Kevin fluffed an easy chance and then Daniel completely missed a perfectly weighted low cross from JP two yards out. Triple calamity. Red seemed to become complacent after this and that’s when JP took advantage and became rapant. Every pass went to him and he seemed to score at every time, a definite turnaround of fortunes in the last 10 minutes when they got in to the lead for the first time and indeed pulled to two away when Richard P was the unfortunate person to get in the way of a ricochet and the ball rolled in for an own goal. Matt fired a low rocket past Daniel to pull Yellow back to a one goal advantage and then Darren looked to have gained parity when he fired a shot from the left to the far post but Daniel just managed to dive and get his fingertips out to turn it round the post, phew!

Hot and hectic stuff. Lots of interceptions/poor passing. And for Red, that’s got to hurt. Two weeks in a row the team with fewer players has stolen the win at the end without being in front for the previous 70 minutes. Elated? Demoralised? What are you?

Final score: Yellow 7 – 6 Red

Red (5): Ahmet, Paul, Richard P, Daniel, Darren

Yellow (6): Kevin, Jim N, Jeremy, Ed, Colin, Richard N

So I published this on the day. Then the website disappeared (something to do with migrating the server – gobbledigook to me) and when it reappeared, this report had vanished. The following is a vague memory of what happened – please feel free to add comments. I did recall every goal at the time but can’t recall two of them as well as a few other details, my apologies.

The first half kicked off with Red showing the desire. Ahmet squared from the right for Daniel to stroke in. Paul got involved in a tangle at the near post and his poke fortuitously evaded all the legs and rolled in. Then a perfect copy of the first goal except Darren crossed from the left this time for Daniel to repeat the move.

Yellow strangley decided to hang back for the second half, hoping to absorb the pressure and attack on the break. Red shrugged their shoulders who passed back to Ahmet who fired a rocket from about halfway inside his own half which firstly curved away from goal but then back towards it. Jim N was insighted by Jeremy bending to get it of the way and it flew into the low corner – tasty. A Yellow break ended with the ball rolling to Jim N’s feet and he fired at the empty goal 3 yards in front of him. Red throw. Hilarious. And unbelievable – how did you do that? No really, please use the comment button below. Yellow finally got on the scoresheet though. Kevin fired at Daniel who could only parry the shot into the path of the on rushing Jim who made no mistake this time. Richard P replied with a run down the left to fire in across goal from a tight angle.

It wasn’t that one-sided but a strange choice of defensive second half tactics by Yellow, to the victor the spoils.

Final Score: Red 7 – 1 Yellow

Red (5): Richard N, Kevin, John G, James McG, James C (minus last 15 minutes)

Yellow (5): Ahmet, Richard P, Darren, Ed, Joel

Joel, from the ‘others’ joined us as his other team wouldn’t let him join them, Jeremy had the shits so couldn’t play and John kicked dog shit off the pitch (Jeremy?) – fortunately it didn’t hit a fan.

Red came out of the blocks hard and true and took three early goals, Kevin opening the scoring with a well taken left footer and for the third John had time to go to India to pick the tea before making it, drinking it, then shot and scored. Yellow finally got something going, Joel contrived to miss from half a yard and to rub salt in the wound, James C’s clearance bounded all the way into the opposing goal, comedy stuff, but not for Yellow. Ahmet was not happy. At all. Red raced to a 6-1 lead but Yellow pulled it back to 6-3 by half time.

Yellow started with the same urgency in the second half hence a tighter game. Kevin’s 100% shots-to-goals quickly became 25% before Yellow pulled two back, a power blast from Ahmet beat James McG at his near post and was followed by a lovely dink shot from Darren past the same keeper, 6-5. Interesting, particularly with James C leaving 15 minutes before the end leaving Red a man down…which arrived without  further score to a not unsurprising period of sustained Yellow pressure, Ed not having the best day in front of goal and energetic Red defending! An exciting y-yo finish ensued. Kevin upped his stats with an excellent dispossess-and-score move, 7-5, then a trademark Ahmet distance shot, 7-6. But James McG settled the games with a tidy finish from Kevin’s cross. Quote of the match from Kevin: “Cushion to press on.”

Final score: Red 8 – 6 Yellow

Thank you to Kevin, Richard P and James McG for report input in the absence of El Capitano.

Match cancelled: Only one for Monday 30th (Kevin) signed up.

Red (4): Ahmet, Steve, Jeremy, Daniel
Yellow (5): John G, Kevin, Richard P, John M, Jim N

5 vs 4. Firm, blustery, with a ten second spell of rain.
Hard work, slightly scrappy with lots of people being caught in possession. Yellow got us started and pulled away to 3-1. A 50/50 loose ball was up for getting hoofed to safety by Richard P or poked in by Daniel. They both got there within a fraction of a second of each other, Richard P just first and Daniel therefore almost crippling him. Sorry sir. Red clawed back to go ahead 5-3 with Calamity Jim added one of those. Kevin saved a shot from Daniel but it richocheted off Jim into his own net. 5-4 to Red at the break.
Never more than 2 goals in it, Yellow were always just behind apart from 6-6 & 9-9. Also apologies to Kevin who in the second half got the sharp end of a knee in his back, Daniel unable to check his momentum aftering reaching another 50/50 ball just first to dink it in. Kevin got revenge soon after though, shooting across Daniel, the ball stroking his flailing fingers, into the net. Not content with taking out half the opposition, Daniel took over the calamity baton. Richard P launched a floater from his goal towards the Red penalty area. Red all shouted ‘keeper’ which Daniel noted but left the ball as he knew it was over hit and wide of the goal. Except it wasn’t. Top corner. A couple more goals kept it interesting, Jeremy got frustrated and therefore vocal.  Steve,  Daniel & Jim N all missed sitters. Post and bars were hit. Ahmet got a couple of rocket goals and made a tasty save and John M and John G made a good solid midfield distribution twosome. Red, down a man, certainly began to feel slightly stretched at the end.

Final score: Yellow 12 – 11 Red

Red: Paul, James, Daniel, Steve, Richard P, Ahmet, Alex (random)
Yellow: Jeremy, Kevin, Jim N, JP, Tufan, John G, Richard N

7-a-side. Firm. Breezy and a long pitch.

(Cut to a clown tripping over the corner flag as he makes his way onto the pitch. The audience (two families and a strange bloke on his own near the front) roar with laughter. One of the guffawing fathers has tears streaming down his face whilst he points at the spectacle and nudges his wife who falls off her chair. He laughs even harder. A sign of things to come.

Oz finally succumbs to niggles (funny name for a girlfriend) and only shows up to pass over the clean gloves and bibs. His car disappears into the distance, and sitting in his passenger seat is his 100% attendance record this year – We salute you sir.

Quite a broo ha ha (yeah – my phrase, oft used before (see reports from 21.11.10 or 03.01.11 for example), don’t be trying to claim it as your own) so although I can remember the chronological scoreline, I can’t recall in which order the specifics happened. Here’s my vague guess…..

The long pitch encouraged many attacks on the break. Yellow went two up after 10 minutes, the first coming from Tufan pinging in an inch perfect corner for Jeremy to rise and nod in. Daniel definitely guilty of ball-watching and losing his man. They then start parking that figurative bus. Or two. In reply Red repeat the route one tactic of last week, a long high ball down the middle from Paul/Ahmet? towards Kevin who rushes oof goal but is beaten to it by the tiniest margin by James who dinks it past him.

Yellow reinstate the difference soon after. In response Red kick off to Paul who goes for a solo run down the left channel and fires in an immediate reply. He also tears down the right at some point and fires a lovely low ball across the goal with Daniel not believing by about a metre. Daniel tries the same run and his shot-cum-cross bounces along the bar. He was also released by James early down the middle but his shot was turned over the bar by Jeremy. Alex (the random – has some good control but his slicker-than-Paul’s-chat-up-lines soles make for some tumbles) makes a nice save but couldn’t hold onto the ball and Jim N/Tufan? is on hand to follow up. JP goes on a dribble down the right and similar to Daniel’s poor keeping last week, the ball gets stuck in a forest of striking and defending legs and rolls bounces out along the line, flummoxing Steve in goal leaving the easiest touch for Jim N/Tufan? (a constant marauding threat) to poke in.

Yellow surge forward and a lovely low ball is hit out to Jim who tries to volley but nutmegs himself. Amusing. He also does one those frustrating sprint-to-the-ball-to-stop-it-going-out-but-can’t-stop-yourself-in-time-so-the-oppostion-run-away-with-it manoeuvres at some point and generally his control was somewhat akin to Ed’s abilities from a fortnight ago. But that’s why he’s dangerously unpredictable, he’ll get a hatrick next week. James popped in another too somewhere.
And that’s just the first half.

Not so many goals after the break. The Red defence had been slightly lacking and a bit of screaming from Richard P in goal ensured a more solid and organised approach. Steve swung in some usual pinpoint crosses but the Yellow defence managed to crowd out any impending shots and John was his usual distributive self. Towards the end were two penalty claims, one for a handball against Ahmet in defence and one for a tangle of feet between James about to shoot and John. Both not given and both would have been harsh. Five minutes from time Alex makes another block to an initial shot but Tufan is able to turn on a sixpence and stroke in, the one goal lead restored. There was also a short phase of play were about four different people tried to pass or shoot but ended up missing it completely. Yes, Jim was one of them.

Then in the last minute Jeremy hoofs the ball to safety. Cynically 30 metres out to waste time. Richard P runs to get it but Red appear to be resigned to fate as the clock ticks down. However he kicks it to Paul who doesn’t wait for him to rejoin the pitch, launches the throw into the area and Ahmet rises highest to nod in at the near post. Jubilation for Red, the whistle goes five seconds later and the moral victory and schadenfreudic retribution for Jeremy’s unsporting ethic belong to Red.

Final score: Yellow 5 – 5 Red

Although I try to recall as much as possible and be impartial in my reports, I’m sorry that I can’t always give credit where it’s due (goals/tackles/farcical moments), especially to those on the other team. You always see it from your own team’s eyes don’t you? Don’t take it personally and feel free to correct on the “comment” button below.

Yellow (6): Richard N, Jeremy, Jim N, Kevin, JP, Oz
Red (6): Paul, James, Richard P, Ahmet, Jack, Daniel

Sunny with a light but noticeable breeze. Good to firm after the overnight rain.

Cor, even sides or what, not much in that game. Red got off to a prompt two goal lead, Daniel shot and although Oz saved, the ball rolled to James who whacked it in. Daniel also ended up with the ball just to the left of goal and whilst he was crowded out by defenders he managed to also tempt Kevin out of his goal with a teasing seductive wink just like you’d see in a Soho doorway,  keeping the ball just out of reach and then pulled it back for Jack to power into the empty net. Yellow got one back and then Red to pulled away to 4-1 with at least one carbon copy of the blocked/saved ball falling kindly to a fellow striker. However the half wasn’t finished and Yellow gave back some of the same medicine, Paul saving nicely only for Jeremy to stroke home the loose ball. A JP multi-drag back popped in one, wrong-footing his marker and keeper alike. And five minutes before half time Daniel came out to the oncoming ball and twosome of Richard N and Jim N both charging it down. In the resulting tangle of legs it fell for Jim to stroke in. Awful keeping. Half time 4-4.
The second half was much the same, good even sided stuff, the only let down was some poor quality passing from both teams. James got hold of the ball and swivelled to volley in. Yellow equalised with Jim N running down the right, poking forward to JP who scored from the tightest of angles with Jack calling for a throw back down the line but only after the goal. A prod forward to Paul was too inviting and taking out the frustration of hitting the post umpteen times, he let fly with a fierce first time shot to the top corner only to be parried at the last instant by Jeremy’s hand. Just in case there was any doubt about he’s shooting abilities, he’s still got it. Shame he can’t score. JP tried to inspire his team to get into the lead and there were a couple of ghasps when Jeremy and Richard P both went down within ten minutes of each other. Both looked serious initially but both thankfully fine. And then ten minutes from the end Paul light fly with a soaring ball up the middle for Ahmet to rise and nod in over the keeper. Huzzah for route one and a victory reflecting the merits of FPTP – majority wins. Where would we be with AV in football?

Final score: Red 6-5 Yellow