Red: Paul, James, Daniel, Steve, Richard P, Ahmet, Alex (random)
Yellow: Jeremy, Kevin, Jim N, JP, Tufan, John G, Richard N
7-a-side. Firm. Breezy and a long pitch.
[Big top circus music] “Roll up! Roll up! The headlining act for Circus in the Park this week is Calamity Jim.”(Cut to a clown tripping over the corner flag as he makes his way onto the pitch. The audience (two families and a strange bloke on his own near the front) roar with laughter. One of the guffawing fathers has tears streaming down his face whilst he points at the spectacle and nudges his wife who falls off her chair. He laughs even harder. A sign of things to come.
Oz finally succumbs to niggles (funny name for a girlfriend) and only shows up to pass over the clean gloves and bibs. His car disappears into the distance, and sitting in his passenger seat is his 100% attendance record this year – We salute you sir.
Quite a broo ha ha (yeah – my phrase, oft used before (see reports from 21.11.10 or 03.01.11 for example), don’t be trying to claim it as your own) so although I can remember the chronological scoreline, I can’t recall in which order the specifics happened. Here’s my vague guess…..
The long pitch encouraged many attacks on the break. Yellow went two up after 10 minutes, the first coming from Tufan pinging in an inch perfect corner for Jeremy to rise and nod in. Daniel definitely guilty of ball-watching and losing his man. They then start parking that figurative bus. Or two. In reply Red repeat the route one tactic of last week, a long high ball down the middle from Paul/Ahmet? towards Kevin who rushes oof goal but is beaten to it by the tiniest margin by James who dinks it past him.
Yellow reinstate the difference soon after. In response Red kick off to Paul who goes for a solo run down the left channel and fires in an immediate reply. He also tears down the right at some point and fires a lovely low ball across the goal with Daniel not believing by about a metre. Daniel tries the same run and his shot-cum-cross bounces along the bar. He was also released by James early down the middle but his shot was turned over the bar by Jeremy. Alex (the random – has some good control but his slicker-than-Paul’s-chat-up-lines soles make for some tumbles) makes a nice save but couldn’t hold onto the ball and Jim N/Tufan? is on hand to follow up. JP goes on a dribble down the right and similar to Daniel’s poor keeping last week, the ball gets stuck in a forest of striking and defending legs and rolls bounces out along the line, flummoxing Steve in goal leaving the easiest touch for Jim N/Tufan? (a constant marauding threat) to poke in.
Yellow surge forward and a lovely low ball is hit out to Jim who tries to volley but nutmegs himself. Amusing. He also does one those frustrating sprint-to-the-ball-to-stop-it-going-out-but-can’t-stop-yourself-in-time-so-the-oppostion-run-away-with-it manoeuvres at some point and generally his control was somewhat akin to Ed’s abilities from a fortnight ago. But that’s why he’s dangerously unpredictable, he’ll get a hatrick next week. James popped in another too somewhere.
And that’s just the first half.
Not so many goals after the break. The Red defence had been slightly lacking and a bit of screaming from Richard P in goal ensured a more solid and organised approach. Steve swung in some usual pinpoint crosses but the Yellow defence managed to crowd out any impending shots and John was his usual distributive self. Towards the end were two penalty claims, one for a handball against Ahmet in defence and one for a tangle of feet between James about to shoot and John. Both not given and both would have been harsh. Five minutes from time Alex makes another block to an initial shot but Tufan is able to turn on a sixpence and stroke in, the one goal lead restored. There was also a short phase of play were about four different people tried to pass or shoot but ended up missing it completely. Yes, Jim was one of them.
Then in the last minute Jeremy hoofs the ball to safety. Cynically 30 metres out to waste time. Richard P runs to get it but Red appear to be resigned to fate as the clock ticks down. However he kicks it to Paul who doesn’t wait for him to rejoin the pitch, launches the throw into the area and Ahmet rises highest to nod in at the near post. Jubilation for Red, the whistle goes five seconds later and the moral victory and schadenfreudic retribution for Jeremy’s unsporting ethic belong to Red.
Final score: Yellow 5 – 5 Red
Although I try to recall as much as possible and be impartial in my reports, I’m sorry that I can’t always give credit where it’s due (goals/tackles/farcical moments), especially to those on the other team. You always see it from your own team’s eyes don’t you? Don’t take it personally and feel free to correct on the “comment” button below.
As ever, Dan, an hilarious.
By the way, it’s brouhaha. Apart from that, 7/10.