Match reports

Red: James, Martin, Ahmet, Daniel, Julius, JP, Gerald, Keith
Yellow: Steve, Prit, Oz, Toby, Rich, Tufan, John, Colin

16!!!! And with only one chap representing the other team, that’s the best turnout since July 1st last year. Steve was late, Ahmet was even later.
Snow underfoot and more falling from above. And the sub zero temperatures certainly added a firmness to the bog underneath – a bit like a crème brûlée. Once again, a lot to recall so the following is a bt piecemeal…..
Martin sadly managed to injure himself during the warm-up so went in goal. James followed suit after 25 minutes with a strain. It was too cold to hang around so they both left – get well soon chaps.
John graciously swapped sides to even it up but realised immediately that after facing the driving snow for most of the first half, he’d now have to do the same in the second half.
Red went 2-0 up within about five minutes even though they were a man down until Ahmet had arrived. Possibly because most of Yellow attacked whenever they had the ball – I recall Oz being a one man defence more than once.
Yellow clawed it back though including a controversial goal with them 4-3 down. Prit dribbled along the right wing and appeared to go beyond the very-hard-to-see markers so Red paused. However play carried on and Tufan shot with the ball landing on the line and being cleared. He claimed it had gone over so Red paused again only for Colin to fire in. Like I said, controversial and this all happened in about five seconds. 4-4, all to play for.
Julius took a corner and aimed at Ahmet who, while jumping, yanked off his hat in mid-air and nodded in – showboat move of the year?
JP surged forward with Tufan following closely behind. Rich tackled and JP tumbled into the snow and Tufan couldn’t stop in time so he tumbled over JP into the white stuff, amusing. And mildly satisfying for Daniel who ended up with the loose ball and fired in. Vindication for earlier when (for the second week in a row) he had a shot covered whilst in goal and saw a defender fluff their lines. Last week Colin, this time Gerald decided to get a touch to the ball and divert it just wide of his own diving keepers’ outstretched fingers.
JP was frequently frustrated up front by Colin who tracked back and thwarted him on many occasions.
Tufan was equally frustrated at the other end but not by defenders. His boots had given up last week so he’d donned astros…which were useless so he spent much of the game sprawled on the ground.
Steve turned up for only his second game since August and was his usual efficient self, linking well with Toby down the right who seems to come from the same school of thought – doesn’t lose possession. One to keep a wary eye on. But Keith was equally potent down the wing for Red.
Julius stroked in to draw Red level five minutes before the end. It was there for the taking.
So Yellow took it, releasing Colin with a long through ball and he dinked it past the out-rushing John and the ball gently rolled over the line.

Final score: Yellow 7 – 6 Red

Red: Keith, Oz, Matt, Rich, Pete, Alan, Chris, Phil, Stu, ?
Yellow: Kevin, Ahmet, Martin, Richard, Toby, Tufan, Colin, Daniel, Julius, Jim

Yellow: Oz, Kevin, Gerald, Tufan, Daniel, JP, Colin + three (Pete, Chris, Paddy)
Colours: Alan, Larry, Ben, Prit, Liam, Phil, Karim, David, Danny, Spurs fan (James?)

JP returns after a year away!!! He hasn’t kicked a ball since he left, he’s still wearing the same top, he still doesn’t have shin pads BUT he promised “No dragbacks!” Sacre bleu!!
Qu’est-ce qui se passe en France Monsieur?

A baptism of fire, slop and smell for JP. Very muddy and as we only had seven, we joined the other team. 10-a-side! And the smell? A strange cesspit overflow aroma pervaded the Rye. A timely reminder that we’re booked at the Mirash!
And would you believe it, a tasty through ball down the middle and JP fires with his first touch…and scores!!!! And if he’d been more clinical he could have a hatrick in the first five minutes. But that threat of no dragbacks? Yeah, it didn’t last long. Too many people on the pitch for me to recall everything. Oz and Pete were a central defensive twosome to be reckoned with, very little got past Kevin on the left, Chris distributed with aplomb from midfield and JP, Colin, Tufan and Paddy combined reasonably well in attack but were hindered by the awful the conditions. Daniel may well have not showed up such was his contribution to either attack of defence. But Gerald – what a stormer – Man of the Match for sure. Virtually nothing got past the right back and when in possession with them pressing he was Mr Calm, passing out of trouble without panic and so many tackles. They got moody towards the end out of frustration as several shots were wayward and with similar finishing at the other end it was a bit nervy in the closing stages. But Yellow held on for a dogged, resolute and just about deserved victory.

Final score: Yellow 1 – 0 Colours

And the last time with the same scoreline? 06.02.11. And the scorer – JP!!

Match abandoned. Only three people signed up (Keith, Oz, Daniel).

Match abandoned. Only four people signed up (Oz, Daniel, Richard Kevin).

Match abandoned. Only four people signed up (James, Kevin, Keith, Oz).

Estate Agents (7): Ahmet, Oz, Matt, Julius, Jim + 1 of them.
Hairdressers (8): ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?, ?

Sorry Dan, this won’t be much of a match report. We had two no shows, Kevin and James, although Kevin did email us in the morning about it [So did James but I was in France with phone off]. But to compensate we had two no-replies appear, Ahmet and Matt. We didn’t have enough for a game amongst ourselves, so we played the other lot who gave us one of their players. They had the extra man.

Red: Chris, Karim, Danny, Daniel, Oz, Julius
Yellow: Kevin, Ahmet, Jim, Prit, David, Richard

Seven of us and five nice hairdressing representatives makes a pleasant 6-a-side.

Daniel started in goal and his first clearance landed straight at their first man who chipped it back over the keeper….predictably bad. Richard Norman doubled the lead with a tight shot from the left just going inside the top of the far post. Lovely. Danny began the fightback with a belter from the right wing half way up the pitch – that bloke can’t half hit it! Karim went in goal after about fifteen minutes with what looked like a hamstring problem. Oz fired at the Yellow goal and just when it looked like Kevin had it covered, Daniel, running in from the side, managed to a. unsight the keeper and b. stretch his leg out and just touch the ball with a stud to add the slightest deflection to divert it in. He almost got another shortly after with a lovely throughball, the keeper arrived at the same time and the ball rolled out of the collision towards the goal but Kevin heroicly slid in to clear off the line. Jim went on a run. It wasn’t mazey, quite straight in fact – his knock-the-ball-on-and-run-past-the-man manouevre. I’ve mocked it in the past but he pulled it off this time…against three consecutive members of the opposition!! And then scored!!!!! A great solo effort. But that was Yellow’s problem – they all seemed to playing their own game against a fluid Red team. But there was a man of the match in there for sure who made sure Red didn’t have to worry….Karim!!!! Despite barely being unable to run/move with any rapidity he pulled off the most amazing number of saves, a lot of which were individually impressive but also collectively astounding.

Final score: Red 13 – 5 Yellow

Red: James, Oz, Daniel
Yellow: Julius, Jim, Colin

Red (5): Ahmet, Gerald, Daniel, Tufan, Colin
Yellow (6): Oz, Kevin, John, Richard, Julius, Jim

11! Our squad list is only 15 but that includes Matt and Jack! Great attendance.

Go! Oh hang on, nope. My clock hasn’t worked. Stop! Yup, this one hasn’t worked either. Amusing incompetence from the keepers. Promptly followed by more farcical comedy from Daniel in goal as a first clearance didn’t even get beyond the feet of the first man – Oz. He passed to John who slotted in. The next clearance got slightly higher – Oz’s head, but the shot ended in Daniel’s hands. Howls of laughter and thumbs up from Yellow – they were loving this. In embarrassed frustration and to ensure safety he hoofed it high and long. The safety didn’t last long though. He flapped at a corner and eventually smothered the loose ball and just about managed to catch a high ball despite the sun. Hardly reassuring for his defence. He then warned that John was unmarked, a few yards beyond the last defender. No one did anything about it and Red promptly went 2-0 down. John then got his foot to a long ball just before Daniel to touch it in. A tad high some argued but to disallow it would have been harsh. He then gratefully handed over the gloves – Yellow really should have been four or five up up.
The change was immediate. Red scored! But sadly just a blip and Yellow took advantage of more calamitous keeping, Ahmet’s clearance ricocheted in off a hassling attacker and another loose ball trickled over the line after more farse. Yellow eventually pulled away to 7-1 by half time.
Change the teams? No siree – Red took the game by the scruff of the neck and were much more involved. But promptly let in a few including a high looping shot that Gerald caught but let slip though his fingers. Tufan and Daniel both skied generous lay-offs in front of goal, Colin took a clearance right in the goolies – you’ve never heard a more perfect contact. Daniel took two in the goolies, neither as good as the Colin poleaxe. John was the man though, a double hatrick and he forced an own goal through a deflection. His link up play up front with Julius regularly opened up the yellow defense who were more accomodating than yo mamma. And Julius contributed with a goal or two of his own. Kevin almost got on the score sheet too after going up front to take advantage of the windfall but could only deflect a lovely through ball just wide of the target. Tufan angrily hoofed a ball in from about a yard out, such was the frustrated aggression. He got another just after his family had arrived to watch. Luckily they hadn’t seen the rest of the show or they’d have carried on walking.

Final score: Red 7 – 12 Yellow

19 goals – The highest scoring game of the year? Don’t be daft – that was a 35 goal haul on January 2nd. An another seven games this year have combined totals of 20 or over. A lowly ninth – positively mediocre.

Man of the match – John. Step aside Zlatan.
Antithesis of John – Anyone in the Red goal.