Match reports

Cracking game – 10 definites, 7 turn up (boo! Though Oz and Kev injuries good reasons!) JACK makes an appearance, 7 turns into 6 when Mrs Richard Piper hurts her back, young Robbie, bursting with energy and knee-high white socks wants a game, not while it’s 3 vs 3…….  

So Red Jack, Scarlet Rich N & Crimson James

vs

Yellow JP, Egg-yolk Gerald and Jaundice Ed

After 10 mins it’s 3-1 to yellow…. Then Mr Richard Piper returns with his children and we’re on to 4 vs 4 – your Robbie joins the yellow team and off we go…… 

Yellow gradually start to dominate, the youngster has far too much energy and skill, and bounds after the missed shots behind the goals, dammit, I remember when I used to do that.  Red don’t lose touch though (included a cracking volley by Norman from a James throw-in just as his child and missus arrive to watch) and it’s a very hard fought 4-2 at half time.

As so often, a change of ends, change of fortune, Reds fight back after some sweeping attacking football and doughty defending and take the lead for the first time 7-6 with only some high class volleys from JP able to breach the goal… frantic with 5 mins left, yellow-Ed scores the winning goal to get the lead back 8-7 before Red equalize with another good move.  Final Score: 8-8. Cracking.

Yellow (4): Kevin, Daniel, Richard N, James

Red: Jim M, Jim N, Oz, Ed, Paul

Yes indeedy, after spending 73 weeks on the injury list Paul returns for his first game since March 1st 2009. Yes, I know you’re impressed by that kind of information. The game started off, much like Paul, a little tentatively and while yellow pinged off a few early shots they only got on the scoresheet after Daniel missed a sitter but was quickest to react to the rebound and cheekily back-heeled the ball through Jim N’s legs. Said keeper came out and promptly equalised. Daniel then got a 5 minute hatrick amongst a flurry of goals for both teams – all the sixes. Jim N then decided to streak across the pitch in the style of a badly cordinated dancing clubber dressed as a roman emperor and yellow took advanage to score an easy goal and went in 8-6 up at the break. Red came out with a little more oompf and made the allegedly 20% fit extra man count with Paul finding his shooting boots to bury a handful of those shots you may well recall from yesteryear – tastier than Morrison’s half price sausages and with Oz popping up at some point to nicely head in a corner, they pulled away to lead 14-9. An attempted fightback by yellow got them to within three goals at 15-12 but they were thwarted by such things as James and Richard N tackling each other in front of their own goal and some random ladies cheering reds and heckling yellow from the cheap seats and they sank quickly in the final 10 minutes. A titanic victory for Red.

Final Score: Red 19-12 Yellow

Red: Darren, John, JP, Kevin, Oz, Richard P, Tom (winners)

Yellow: Ahmet, Jeremy, James, Jim M, Matt, Richard N, Stuart (losers)

Facscinating game, 7-a-side with each team leading on numerous occasions. Matt scored. Against the odds Reds were victorious and it felt very good. Good game, good game as Bruce Forsyth would say. Hard game. It was a good honest game, lots of space, lots of running. Red had a lot of opportunities to build on a two-goal cushion but didn’t; clinical finishing and a very good fightback by yellow (who were two goals down at half time) broke red hearts. Interestingly the very slight slope seems to make a massive difference, running on the slight uphill with weary second half legs perhaps but the team going downhill won each half and ultimately the game. Can you tell by the contradictions that this is an amalgamation of various reports?

Final score Red: 7-5 Yellow (the winning colour/actual score may not be accurate – see below)

In my absence this Sunday i’d just like it to be known that between the five or six people who forwarded me their reports on the match, I was given the following hotch-potch information:

• four differing final scores (8-6,7-5, 6-5, 6-4)
• both red and yellow apparently won which means some people couldn’t recall what colour bib they wore
• only two could remember the full line up of their or the other team.

I’d therefore like to give myself a pat on the back for completing full and accurate report each and every week.

Yellow: Oz, Richard P, Richard N, Ed, John, Steve

Red: Daniel, James, Jeremy, Stuart, Kevin, Jim N

6-a-side, I like it, I like it, yes I do.  Hmmm, a weird one. 20 minutes of good passing by both teams but no goals followed by a hard-to-describe rest of the game. Reds didn’t take their chances early on and then didn’t get any more as yellow closed down and defended impeccably. John broke the deadlock from a tight angle, Red got one back, yellow picked up another and then got a third with a deflection off Daniel going through James’ legs. Oz and John passed and held the ball well, Jim N did a Larry Grayson, Kevin fell over, Ed did a multiple running stepover not actually realising the ball was under him and Jim N is a butcher in the present Morrisons advert offering sausages at half price this week.

Final score: Yellow 5-1 Red

Yellow: Gerald, Jeremy, Oz, Richard P, Ed

Red: Stuart, Daniel, Richard N, Tufan, Kevin

Even as I write this less than 5 hours after the match I can’t recall much, and I only had two pints last night. It was an awful club though, with a Jazz FM DJ “in the house.” (that was a real quote). Why do people pick such bad venues for their birthdays? Ronnie Scotts bar. Oooo, I thought, quite posh. No. My friend hadn’t done his research – the good, live music bit is downstairs. The overpriced, crap food, naff harvester music, appalling DJ upstairs section was what he’d booked. Truly bad.  Idiot. 

5-a-side. Anyway, first blood to red, yellow equalised, red got another, yellow equalised and then started pulling away to 7-4.  Red got in back to 7-6 with 15 minutes to go and just when they thought they had the intiative, Oz adjusted his accuracy gauge and they promptly pumped another 4 goals to kill off any hope. A slightly scrappy game with a hard ball bouncing on a hard surface. Yellow took their chances, Reds didn’t.

Final score: Yellow 11 – 6 Red

Yellow (6): Ahmet, Oz, Jim N, Steve, Richard P, Ed

Red (5): JP, Jeremy, Gerald, Daniel, Kevin

Yeah, Red got up to a 4-2 lead but seemed to disappear in the second half, possibly due to the monotonous, soul-destroying drone of the vuvuleas, oh sorry, I mean Jeremy trying to “coach” his team.

Final score: Yellow 7-4 Red

Match cancelled. Only five players (Kevin, Tufan, Oz, Richard P, Daniel) turned up.

Red: Jeremy, Richard N, James, Kevin, Steve, Richard P

Yellow: JP, Ahmet, Daniel, Tufan, Oz, John G

Facts:

• Happy Father’s Day!
• 6-a-side
• Yellow managed an unprecidented number of interceptions.
• Ergo, red’s passing was woeful
• Daniel saved a penalty.
• Tufan played for the first time this year – welcome back
• Yellow got to 7-0 without reply
• Kevin finally headed in 20 mins from time to wipe off the cleansheet.
• Final Score: Yellow 13 – 3 Red

Yellow: Daniel, Jim N, Jeremy, Ahmet

Red: Ed, JP, Richard N, Gerald

Yellow got up to a 4-1 lead. Red made a comeback to go ahead 5-4. Yellow composed themselves and despite some sterling one-on-one keeping by Ed, managed to slot away quite a few in the closing stages. I can never recall anything anymore – can we video the games please? Final score: Yellow 10 – 7 Red

4-a-side on a quite a stuffy morning.

Yellow: Ahmet, Jeremy, Matt, Kevin, Richard N

Red: Oz, JP, Tim, Steve, Ed, Daniel

6 vs 5. A fair game until Tim went off within 10 minutes of kick off with a rather serious knee injury – get well soon sir. Yellow then slowly but surely pulled away to a 5 goal lead but Red just about managed to stay in touch despite lacking a single defensive player (questionable selection I say) and were within 3 goals with ten minutes to go. A cross field pass was dummied so perfectly by Matt that the intended recipient, Mr Norman, fell over in bamboozled confusion. In contrast he later rushed down the right wing and pinged over an inch-perfect cross for Jeremy to nod in, a wonderful goal.  I’ve had a busy week other than that so can’t recall much else of note.

Final score: Red 12 – 16 Yellow