Match reports

Us: JP, Keith, Martin, Matt, Ahmet, Steve, Daniel, Chris
Them: Gareth, Alan, Brian, Mani, Femi, Prit, ?, ?

Low turnout for both teams but 8-a-side when we joined forces – thank you Chris for swapping to make it even. And a bit of dithering meant an almost 11am start. Red warmed up by practising set pieces whilst Yellow discussed the merits of El Capitano’s well-turned ankles and slim legs.

The first few minutes seemed ominous for Yellow as Red attacked in threatening fashion so it was slightly surprising when Yellow scored first after a well-timed tackle followed by a quick release to Matt who fed JP who fired in. Not for long though, Red equalised soon after releasing Femi down the right who shot low from quite far out but hard and fast. A similar release to JP, from Chris this time, freed him to fire in his second. Red were quick with their response again, Gareth (a constant threat that Yellow did well to smother for most of the game) had his initial shot blocked but Alan was on hand to stroke home the rebound, 2-2. An unfortunate own-goal by Red restored the Yellow lead and just as Red were about to attack a corner, Yellow were saved by the half time bell.

Match abandoned. Only three people signed up (John, Gerald, Daniel).

Red: Kevin, Daniel, JP, Tufan
Yellow: Martin, Oz, Eddie, Ahmet, Steve

Red: Rich N, Ahmet, Martin, Tufan, Oz
Yellow: Kevin, JP, Steve, Keith, Gerald

Report courtesy of Gerald and Tufan – thank you.

The lines were straight, and the temperature a cool breezy perfect.  It was one of those days when the fates shone kindly on those who played well, with skill and courage, but they cast a shadow over those who were basically rubbish.  And so Yellow missed goal after goal after goal – cross-bars were hit, shots were saved and saved again, Gerald – yellow (player of the year, as he was constantly reminded on the pitch) missed an outrageous open goal which any poacher worthy of Lineker’s mantle would have scored, whilst Richard Norman – red – scored a Scholes-esque goal from outside the penalty area (granted we have a very small penalty area) curling it gently into the top corner. The highlight was Steve’s back pass to JP who was thinking a lot about whether he could pick it up or not, and not too much about actually picking it up until it was in the back of the net. Last week Ahmet and JP conspired to pile on the goals, this week Ahmet and Tufan, in red, combined to the same effect.  I’ll leave it to our dear readers to work out the common dominator.

Final score: Red 11 – 4 Yellow

Report notes temporarily lost by El Capitano. Will update when/if found.

Latest update: The news is bad. The booklet containing the notes is now either nestled in landfill or being read by a bunch of builders. The latter scenario is slighty concerning as they

a: may try to pass of my doodles off as their own works of art

b: may well be sniggering at various personal writings that I’ve committed to paper over the years (it’s an old pad)

c: may discover the source of England’s grassroots problems and publish my description of our game in the comedy section of some Polish newspaper.

I had temporarily forgotten where I’d written the notes, breathed a sigh of relief when I found them, took the opportunity to read what I’d written and then used the pad for a shopping list whereupon it was discarded with the wrapping of the subsequent purchases. So the only information I recall from that brief reading is that Tufan went on a very long dribble all around the Red defence and all the while Reds getting more and more concerned that he would score at the end of it like one of those speeded up videos of Spain completing 57 passes in a row and rolling the ball into the net at the end, only with Tufan as the only participant. But he didn’t score. Red did, a lot. Colin, JP and Daniel combined well in a speedy attack for Red and I recall Ahmet firing from halfway into the empty net after Yellow had advanced en masse in the hope of restoring some parity.  Luckily I’m prompt with inputting the basic details into my spreadsheet so I at least have the teams and final score. The result isn’t a fair reflection of the game, it was much less one sided than the score suggests. I’m sorry that most of our efforts have been confined to the annals of history. However, this report could arguably be more riveting than the game itself….we’ll never know.

Red: Colin, JP, Ahmet, Daniel, Gerald
Yellow: John, Kevin, Martin, Toby, Tufan

Final score: Red 12 – 5 Yellow

Match abandoned. Only two people signed up (Daniel, Martin).

Match abandoned. Only three people signed up (Matt, Colin, Kevin).

Red: Keith, Colin, Daniel
Yellow: Kevin, Gerald, Steve, Martin

Believe! No, not in Bonnie. Us. And it worked too. Not a classic by any stretch of the imagination but lots of polite and relaxed conversation during the game amongst and between the teams, generally discussing the merits of male Romanian sopranos.
Low numbers so in comes the one touch rule and no scoring from your own half.
Both teams had a lead early on but Yellow began to pull away with the extra man. They recinded the rules for Red as the gap widened; firstly the half way scoring and then later on the one touch rule which helped a little bit. And then with an identical handball that had Red conceeded shortly before, Yellow conceeded a free kick in exactly the same position up the other end. Keith gently rolled the ball to Daniel whose shot hit the bar and bounced down and out to safety. Massive debate about whether it had crossed the line which it had but Yellow disagreed and offered a patronising half-goal.
Kevin got a tasty pile driver. The biggest margin was five goal advantage.

Final score: Yellow 13 – 11(½) Red

Match abandoned. Only three people signed up (Colin, JP, Daniel).

Match abandoned. Only two people signed up (JP, Daniel).