It was a blistering hot 5-a-side in the end. Tim came along, with his friend and I brought a newbie (Julius) who scored a hat trick. Will Oz or James write up the match report? [Nope – this is it!]
Red: Bruno, Julius, Richard P, Steve, Tim’s friend
Yellow: Oz, Richard N., Tim, Gerald, James
Final score: Red 7 – 6 Yellow
It should have been a draw – there was some discussion after the match, mostly instigated by me, that our match reports include both the “real” score (in this case 7-6) and then the “moral” score, i.e. what the scores should have been if there were a God of Football (in this case 7-7).
“Report” courtesy of Gerald Jones.
El Capitano:
No. Don’t be ridiculous. The match reports won’t include a “moral” score.
A: There is only one God.
B: Does He even exist?
C: If a god of football does happen to wander unseen in our midst, our game is a little too insignificant for Him to judge. Especially with the Euros coming up, I proffer He’s a little too busy.
D: And a footballing deity doesn’t exist ‘cos I pray for skills on a regular basis and they never materialise.
E: In light of the above, it would leave Me to decide the moral score as I’m the only person who writes anything up. (note the gap above between ‘teams’ and ‘final score’ where the report should be). The the moral score is the real one. Cos that’s what happened. Which confirms that righteous punditry, both before and after games, is of absolutely no consequence at all. And things that are unfair/wrong always equal each other out in the end. e.g. Geoff Hurst’s “goal” (v Germany, WC 1966) nullified by Frank Lampard’s “non goal” (v Germany, WC 2010); Holland putting the boot in for most of the match, Spain putting the ball in to win it, (WC 2010); El Capitano getting pushed over to Ruski FC, (March 2009) and losing 11-1 but then winning 11-1 against 3 of the conspirators (January 2011). Karmatic retribution is the name of the game. Hello? Hello? Is anyone still reading?