Red: Jack, Ed, Tufan, JP, Oz, Gerald +John*
Yellow: Richard P, Daniel, Paul, James, Jeremy +Gerald*
First things first. Let’s draw your attention to a name in that Red squad. Ed. Let that sink in. Ed. When has he last played? It’s so long since his last game I bet even he doesn’t know. I do!
December 18th, 2011. That’s 355 weeks since his last game, blowing Finbar’s record of 284 weeks between games clean into the stratosphere! Take a bow, sir. Not very committed though.
Anyway, once again I scrawled some notes just after the game, this time on a scrap of cardboard from a strawberry, raspberry and cranberry infusion Sainsbury’s teabag box (the one my mum likes and I have to take 20 boxes of to France every time I go as a result) and it’s only taken me two months to get round to transferring those scribblings to this report. It may lack depth as a result.
James and Paul both hit the post in an opening 10 minute barrage and helped to put Yellow 3-0 up in no time at all. They were a potent twosome for the whole match. John then sauntered over habitually arriving 15 minutes late, joined Red and Gerald moved to Yellow*. Ed swept in the first goal for Red. Jack got an own goal. Gerald got an own goal. Daniel decided to dribble out of goal in a rush of blood to the head, was dispossessed and watched helplessly as Tufan chipped in over the aghast covering defence. Ed’s boot fell apart. The same boot he wore all those years ago….unwashed. Probably unleashing some hitherto inactive toxic contagious virus like the type they find when they defrost a 5000 year old eskimo corpse. Or maybe the dormant eggs of those horrible bitey flies we dealt with some years ago. Anyway, he took his sock off, put it back on over his boot and tied a lace around the end to hold it all together. A bit like scrapheap challenge for cobblers.
I’ve written nothing else and can recall nothing else apart move-of-the-match coming from Gerald….he watched as a long ball forward come steeply down over his left shoulder from behind, volleyed a chip back over his head taking the ball away from the attacker, took a touch to bring it down and distributed with such nonchalance that everyone thought he was showboating.
Final score: Yellow 11 – 6 Red