Red (5): Jeremy, James ‘2’, John G, Richard P, Jim N
Yellow (5): Ed, Oz, Gerald, Richard N, Daniel
5-a-side! This week sponsored by Mud, the stickiest since Tiger Feet got stuck at number 1 for four weeks in 1974.
Daniel looked at the pitch just as he’d been selected to play out on the left. He’d climbed Dog Kennel Hill, he’d struggled up Herne Hill, heck he’d even been up Snowden, but this slope? He turned back to the car park to fetch his climbing gear. If you’re interested in football, this wasn’t a classic. The highlight was Oz volleying a high ball into the back of the net from a a third of the way up the pitch – very tasty. Sadly Gerald tumbled over fairly early on while trying to keep the ball in play and damaged his ankle. However he put in a sterling effort during his subsequent spell in goal but is now contemplating life as a stand in for Heather Mills. And just when Daniel’s frost bitten fingers curled over the last high ledge as he eventually got into postition on the wing, the final whistle went. 6 – 2 to Red. Once again, not really a fair reflection after yellow peppered the red goal in the second half but they only count if they go in. Football certainly died today. And romance was killed off too after James ‘2’ made his wife pay his subs! In front of his children! 81 years later to the day – this was the real St Valentine’s Day Massacre. Plant phood anyone?
Points of order:
1. Call me unconventional but can we play on a flat pitch next week.
2. Red bibs. One went missing after this game (so that’s one of you – red team) and another has gone walkabout in the last month. Please have a rummage at home as it’s a bit of waste of funds if we have to replace them (we’re down to only five).
3. James ‘2’ – may I have his e-mail? (if he wants to receive this pointless waffle each week of course).