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Match report: 22.06.14

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Us: Gerald, Julius, Paul, Daniel, Chris, Steve, Keith, Keith’s friend Ed, Kevin (theirs)
Them: Pete, Stuart, Alan, Prit, Scott, Phil, Sundy, Brian, Femi, Fabio

A large turnout for the second week in a row. Julius returned from injury for his first game this year, Keith brought Ed and Yellow loaned us Kevin but we were still a man down from the off. A tetchy first 20 minutes with a few hard tackles here and there. Yellow had the upper hand for the first 10 minutes but it settled after that and included a great move in the idle of the park, Julius receiving the ball, dribbling forward and scooping the ball over Pete (who’d been a solid sweeper until then) and Chris taking on the ball and shooting wide. There were chances at either end but nothing clear cut. Until a long ball from the back. It dropped down just over Pete’s head and Daniel, whose sprint down the right wing had inspired the hoof upfield, deftly brought down the ball and dinked it just under the keeper with one touch to leave him to tap into the empty net. Except the keeper’s arm deliberately came up and to hit him in the chest and sent him into a 360° spin. He managed to stay on his feet, such is his good nature, and fired a frustrated snap shot wide. The clearest penalty you will ever see but Yellow refused to conceded it even though the keeper was nowhere near the ball. No apology either, poor show.
The second half was equally end to end stuff, with Red possibly taking the upper hand with dribbling and passing but as with yellow, the moves broke down……

And that’s where I finished writing. Who knows what happened? Rhetorical.

Final score: Us 0 – 2 Them
June 22, 2014
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Match report: 15.06.14

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Yellow: Tufan, Gerald, Keith, Colin, Steve, Femi, Scott (1st half), ?, ?, Sundi (2nd half)
Reds:  Gareth, Damon, and all the good ones, Scott (2nd half)

1.  Tufan met Gerald met Keith met Colin.
1.1  All of 1. above met Steve.
1.2  Gerald’s suggestion of 3 versus 3 was not well met.  For there were only five of Us
2.  All of 1.1 above saw The Others.
2.1  It was with a sense of foreboding that they walked, shoulder to shoulder, across Peckham’s finest green, towards The Others.
2.2  The Others struggled to assemble their goals and nets like Laocoon and his Sons.
2.3  We helped.  And for this we rewarded with three of The Others’ own.
3.  The game started.  We were green.  (Yellow to some.)
3.1  Steve knew the sides were balanced in The Others’ favour.  For Gareth had returned.  And he was theirs.
3.1.1  Steve did not say anything about this until the end.  When it was All Over.
3.2  Sundi arrived late, in Green (Yellow to some).  But he was not allowed across the threshold, for the sides were even (although, as Steve later observed, not balanced).
3.3  It was 0-0.  The pace was fast.  Our inspiration was Sterling and Sturridge, Baines and Barkley.
3.4  It was 1-0 to Reds.  Then 1-1, a wonderful Bergkamp goal from Tufan.
3.5  It was now 4-1 to Reds.  Left unsaid was why… some thought it was because Gerald was now in goal.  Gerald thought it was because he was the only f*cking defender and, yes, he was now in goal.
4.  Femi had a sense of humour failure.
4.1  This sense of humour failure lasted the rest of the half.  And the whole of the second half.
5.  Half-time.  5-1 to Reds.  Scott and Femi (both “defenders”) switched to the noble, Knightly, position of attack.  The peasants could be left to defend.
5.1  Sundi joined Yellows.  Our time had come.  Keith and Colin pressed and harried.  Steve spread balls across the pitch like thin marmite.  Tufan dodged and darted like a border collie herding footballs.
5.1  6-1 reds, 6-2 yellows.  This was the come-back.  But ?? was injured and retired to goal to limp for the final 35 minutes.
5.2  Another injury, this time a Red, and Scott switched to their side.  They asked ‘who wants to join Reds… it can be anyone but Femi’.  This did not help the delicate threads that pull a team together towards a common goal.  And so the threads unravelled.
6.  We draw a curtain over the rest of the half, and return to find our noble band of five reflecting on an England defeat and now this.  The Others simply don’t have fun when they play.  And we miss that, we really do.  Gerald’s suggestion of 3 vs 2 now looked like a prelapsarian dream.
6.1  Steve pointed out that he knew the sides had not been balanced at the start.

Final Score: Red 13 – 2 Yellow
June 15, 2014
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Match report: 08.06.14

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Red: Keith, Steve, Larry, Jack, Sundy, Daniel, Fabio
Yellow: Daniel, Phil, Stewart, Gareth, Nilo, Brian, Damon

Hot, sunny and firm. And what a game! Only one dodgy tackle and that was accidental with the perpetrator conceding it immediately. Even almost all the way in the first half with Red just edging ahead 2-1, the second coming from Sundy shooting down the centre straight at the keeper but Daniel (theirs) standing in the way and just getting a deft flick to divert it in. A difficult duo to contend with. And just before the break Red pumped in another. And it got worse as a fourth went in straight after the restart. But did Yellow give up? No sir-ree. Brian (in goal) made numerous saves as Red couldn’t take advantage of their chances but up the other end, one by one the goals slowly went in. And with five minutes to go Nilo released Daniel (ours) with a diagonal pass, he was through on goal but lacking in goal scoring confidence and with the keeper making himself big, he chose to cross to Gareth who after having shouted “shoot!” had slowed down and didn’t get the touch needed.

A fair end to a great game, counter-attacking football at it’s best.

Final score: Red 4 – 4 Yellow

June 8, 2014
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Match report: 01.06.14

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Yellow: Kevin, Colin, Daniel, Femi, Sundy
Red: Larry, Lee, Damon, Francisco, Alan

And as we kicked off a whippet decided to run off with one of the pitch markers of the adjacent aussie rules ladies game. The owner strolled long, shouting and demanding that the dog come back but it just ran away. After about 30 yards it stopped, looked back affectionately, wagging it’s tail, dropped the cone, cocked it’s leg and pissed on it. The owner eventually caught up and returned the marker to it’s original position. Just as the dog ran off with another one.
John then rocked up 20 minutes into the game but with even sides he felt guitly about unsettling the match and forlornly trudged home.
For about three quarters of the game another team tried to assemble their own Samba goals, the completion of the second one received a well-earned sarcastic and patronising round of applause from us.
Finally, in the 78th minute, someone other than Femi and Sundy scored for Yellow, Colin finally connecting well with a lay off. Sundy had crossed and laid-off a-plenty for Daniel who managed to either shoot narrowly wide or at the keeper on several occasions but he hasn’t scored since mid-March and it showed. But Red had their own problems in front of goal with Larry and Damon both comically missing a gilt-edged chances but they’d both made a spectacular save each, Larry punching away Daniel’s off-the-thigh shot from another zipping Sundy cross shot at close range and Damon tipping a shot over the bar. It was closer than the scoreline suggests but Sundy was the difference.

Final score: Yellow 10 – 7 Red

June 1, 2014
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Match report: 25.05.14

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Red: John, Daniel, Colin, Steve, Zavier, Faru
Yellow: Alan, Femi, Phil, Brian, Nilo, Sundy

Zavier joined Red to even the sides, thank you sir.
Faru and Sundy arrived 20 minutes into the game by which time Red we already 2-0 up.
John was a solid central defender with Zavier up front causing trouble up front. Strangely in the second half they swapped roles and promptly the fightback began, Zavier just as good at the back and John knocking them in during the last 20 minutes.

Sundy collapsed in a heap after a deflected shot hit him in the nuts with the loose ball eventually being hit into the empty goal. Controversial. Yellow were appalled, Red couldn’t look eachother in the eye and after five minutes of looking for their conscience, they found it and scratched off the goal. However for the rest of the game everyone shouted out different score lines as the goals went in, leading to much confusion.

Final score: Red 6 – 7 Yellow

May 25, 2014
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Match report: 18.05.14

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Thank to Martin and John for their reports that I’ve hastily edited and joined together.

Red: Martin, Paul, John (from half time – had his garage broken into), Scott, Damon, Pete, Rob
Yellow: Prit, Alan, Femi, + three others whose names escape me plus a pretty good ringer who came on at half time.

Memories are hazy due to delirium from the sun and concentrating hard to avoid being shouted at by big Pete. A tight game. Couldn’t tell you who scored. Perhaps the other two have clearer recollections. [No, they don’t. John’s initial report stated that he played against Paul and didn’t even mention Martin! But he did say he’d retired to a boozy barbecue immediately after the game but didn’t partake of food…..hence the lack of clarity]. Great game though, Red stormed into a 4-1 lead, only for Yellow to pull it back after half time. It was 5-5 with 20 minutes to go but superior discipline from Red proved to be Yellow’s undoing and a late Rob hat trick went unanswered.
And that’s all she wrote.

Enlightening, eh?

Final score: Red 8 – 5 Yellow

May 18, 2014
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Match report: 11.05.14

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Thank you to John for the following match report.

Red: Keith & four hairdressers
Yellow: John & four hairdressers

It was a classic one against one – me against Keith, with four supporting cast members each from the hairdressers.
Lucky for me, I was with four methodical hairdressers who understood the occasional failings of their colleagues and managed to remain focused on the task of trying to win the game.
Femi (one of Keith’s coiffeurs) on the other hand found the faults of his team too irksome to bear –  the final straw proved to be one of his own crap passes that saw him leave the field in a sulk (later to return in goal).
Which was a shame, given they pulled it back to within one goal , 7-6, from 5-3 at half time only for the comeback to peter out.
So much skill, talent and athleticism, yet without product. Reminiscent of the parable of the men starving to death at a table laden with nourishing soup because the soup spoons are longer than their arms. Sort of.
But I paint too divided a picture. Both teams played some great football and lots of good goals were scored. I got 2 as did Keith.

Final score: Yellow 13 – 7 Red

John: “That’s the great thing about the commoners – we are comfortable in our crapness.”

Keith: “Always. Every week.”

 

May 11, 2014
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Match report: 04.05.14

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Yellow: Daniel (ours), Ahmet, David, Daniel (theirs), Francisco, Femi, Phil
Red: Keith, Gerald, Sundy, Larry, Jack (theirs), Alan, Damon

Best goal? Jack’s low hard volley.
Most controversial moment? The winning goal may or may not have gone in before time. With no timer, only a clock ticking along and therefore no beep, we’ll never know.
Biggest shock? Ahmet’s 21 game unbeaten run comes to an end. He hadn’t lost since September 29th last year.

Final score: Red 6-5 Yellow

May 4, 2014
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Match report: 27.04.14

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Estate Agents: JP, Tufam, John, Chris, Ahmet, Kevin, Daniel, James D
Hairdressers: Francisco, Pete, Alan, Femi, Phil, Roger, Brian, Nilo, Damon

Welcome James! Welcome back JP, his first game since November 10th – not quite the once-a-month we’d been promised. But at the present state of attendance, we’ll take what we can get. He showed us what we’re missing though, putting in the first goal. Roger then went off injured, evening it up to 8-a-side but Yellow had equalised by half time. They then went ahead shortly after the break, Femi playing possum near the Red goal only to jump up to dink a nice through ball just inside the post. Red equalised and then with 15 minutes left and the game developing into a stretchy counter-attacking war of attrition, Red suddenly put in three goals, the third going in three or four minutes before the end, prompting a couple of the opposition to walk off early….sulking doesn’t become middle age. I also recall James D (who, at over 6′ adds some rare height to the game) calling for quick passes from JP many times. I’m chuckling now as I write this as much as I was during the game.

Two for JP, two for Chris and one for Tufan.

Final score: Red 5 – 2 Yellow

April 27, 2014
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